Holiday Cards 2024
Dec. 3rd, 2024 09:11 pmI'm happy to send cards to my international friends (no guarantees on when you'll get it, sorry), just do me a favor and write out all the address bits that need to be on an envelope for it to get to you.

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Silent Protagonist
The Silent Protagonist is a chosen hero of fate, but also you. The you who can do magical things and saves the world, but not before spending weeks on side quests of varying degrees of importance. Guild Location: Your Home Town favored weapon: A Magical Weapon of Fate favored armor:Should be a matched hero set, but is actually whatever has the best stats strengths: There's nothing you can't do... weaknesses: Except hold a conversation, walk off of a path, or carry more things than your backpack has room for. physical power: ? magical power: ? attack potency: ? healing potency: ? physical defense:? magical defense: ? speed: ? Your stats are determined by how many key NPCs you have rescued from the various dungeons and castles around the world. | ||
| EXP | SKILL | DESCRIPTION |
| 0000 | Vandalism | Break any pot you see. Go on. There might be treasure in there. |
| 0050 | HYAAA! | A basic physical attack. You gotta level up before you get good. |
| 0100 | Directionally Challenged | Is there an obstacle along the path that most people could easily climb over or move around? A feeble door that could probably be kicked in? Nope, not for you. Better take the long way around. |
| 0200 | Band Nerd | Play your chosen instrument, and magic happens. Summon up a storm, heal sickness, do whatever the plot needs you to do! |
| 0350 | Mascot | A 'cute' mascot appears and constantly tells you information from the tutorial. Nope, you can't turn it off. Better learn to love it. |
| 0500 | Roll | Tuck and roll! Nothing can hit you while you're rolling. |
| 0750 | Boomerang | Ranged attack? Check. Hit a switch on a platform? Check. It always comes back, just don't ask where you store it (because not even you know). |
| 1000 | Final Weapon | You find the Magical Weapon that the Fated Hero in your world always wields. It cuts through most enemies without you breaking a sweat, and it looks damny flashy, too. |
| EXP | JOB BONUS | DESCRIPTION |
| 0000 | Conversation Skills | You are silent, other than making fighting noises, unless presented with two dialogue choices. It's ok, the people around you still seem to understand you just fine. |
| EXP | MODIFIER SKILL | DESCRIPTION |
| 0500 | Palette Swap | You can keep all of your Silent Protagonist equipment when using your other job. It just changes to the color most associated with that job class. |
| EXP | SUPREME SKILL | DESCRIPTION |
| 3000 | Over-Leveled | If you've grinded enough to unlock this skill, you're now vastly over-leveled for the final boss. All your stats are S ranked now. |
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DAD
The Dad’s primary objectives are to protect, nurture, troll, and ultimately embarrass their offspring. Guild Location: Man Cave favored weapon: Bad Jokes, the thermostat favored armor:Sandals with socks, dad caps strengths: Dads gain advantages when around their children, whether they be biologically related or adopted. . weaknesses: Similarly, they are susceptible to children, and will put themselves in harm’s way to protect (or embarrass) them. Also weak to Mom Skills. physical power: D…for ‘Dad’! magical power: A… for the next letter for Dad! attack potency: D…you know the drill! healing potency: D…yup physical defense: Y… for ‘why are you even surprised?’ magical defense: D speed: D | ||
| EXP | SKILL | DESCRIPTION |
| 0000 | Wrapped Around Their Finger | 50% penalty to resisting persuasion by children. Sure, you can have dessert before dinner, sweetie. |
| 0050 | SuperDad! | Can copy the 100Exp skill of another class. 75% chance of success in the presence of a child, 50% success rate otherwise. Fake it til you make it, Dad! |
| 0100 | Hi Thirsty, I’m Dad! | Can produce a lukewarm potion in a juice box to give to a child in need. No, we’re not stopping at McDonalds, drink your juice. |
| 0200 | Go the Fuck to Sleep | Sleep spell. 75% effective on children, 50% effective on non-children. Listen to SLJ and go to sleep! |
| 0350 | Go Ask Mom | Can deflect a spell, request, or awkward question to another adult character. I don’t know, go ask your mother. |
| 0500 | Your PALadin | Can take the damage aimed at a child character. Damage incurred during this action is 40% reduced. Don’t worry, kiddo, Dad’s here. |
| 0750 | Papa Bear | When a child is harmed in a Dad’s presence, Papa Bear mode is activated. 50% boost in attack and pain is not felt until the perpetrator has been punished. Not on MY watch! |
| 1000 | DILF | Your wholesome family values and your rockin’ dad bod make you strangely alluring. Charm an opponent. |
| EXP | JOB BONUS | DESCRIPTION |
| 0000 | Dad Jokes | Maybe you were funny back in the day, but now you’re punny. Your terrible humor grows with each child you form a bond with. |
| EXP | MODIFIER SKILL | DESCRIPTION |
| 0500 | Trollolol | You do your other job purposefully embarrassing. Chemist with a fanny pack, Bard who only plays Jimmy Buffet songs, just the worst Dancer. 10% Bonus to skills when successfully trolling your child. |
| EXP | SUPREME SKILL | DESCRIPTION |
| 3000 | Call Me Daddy | Your Dad Appeal is too strong to resist. Your children finally listen to what you say. Adults…also listen to what you have to say, but sexily. |
| Ramza Beoulve | ||
Her real name is Mary Read, but she introduced herself as ‘Kidd’ and had never told me to call her differently. She’s a reliable ally and a friend. We’ve traveled together, and though we have different methods for implementing it, we both want to make the world a better place. |
Someone needs to keep a vigilant watch over him. He does not seem to know whether he wants to be a Hero or a Villain. |
A ‘Soul Reaper’, one who guides the souls of the departed to the afterlife. She is someone you could trust with the fate of departed loved one. We went on a date, though she seems to have no interest in romance. She has some strange notions about courtship, but she seems like a good person and I hope to get to know her better. |
After risking our lives together at our first peace talks with Kurma, I thought Captain Harkness was a man worthy of my respect and trust. But his word of honor means nothing, and he would sow seeds of dissent to achieve the ‘greater good’. He would get along well with Delita, I think, but I will place my faith in him no longer. |
She was a damsel in distress when I first met her, but she has grown stronger since then. Her past is a mystery, even to herself, but I can tell that she has a gentle soul and does not deserve the suffering her old life bestowed on her. I want to keep protecting her, but I think there is another who can do so better than I. |
He is not the same Cloud that came to Ivalice. He seems…happier. I almost hope he does not become the broken man I knew, though I treasure the friendship I had with him. I still feel a kinship to Cloud, and I want to make sure he is taken care of here in Crystallis. I wish there was a way to tell him this without sounding like a madman. |
He wields Masamune, one of the great swords of legend. He is a respected general in the army here, though some of those from his home world seem to regard him with suspicion. He has succumbed to darkness in the past and when under the influence of black magic, but I think he is a good man nonetheless. |
A brawler of great skill. It is dangerous to make her angry, but she protects her friends with an unrivaled ferocity. I let her down when I allowed Yuffie to be captured, and I still do not know if she had truly forgiven me for that. |
Yuffie is very precious to me. She needs a big brother to watch over her and take some of her burdens. Some of the Heroes view her as mischievous, but I think it is a mark of her strength that she can be so joyous and high-spirited despite the pressures of her royal responsibilities. I let her down once, and I pray I will not fail her again. |
A stalwart ally with strong summoning magic. She has stood beside me in battle several times, and she places the wellbeing of others above her own safety. I admire her, and consider her a friend. |
A curious individual, and not just because she is the second Yuna I know. She has known loss, but she does not let that control her. She is also a musician. I showed her my father’s grass whistle. |
A Queen of Ivalice from a different time. I consider her my kinwoman, though she well outranks me. I would pledge my service to her if she asked, though I sometimes question her methods. She has had to make many hard decisions, and I do not envy her burdens. |
A skilled fighter. We have fought many battles together, and we talked during the ‘time loop’. She has a sensible head on her shoulders, and is a reliable ally. |
The warrior who organized the Aqures Ixen militia, and Zelda’s Hero. I think I embarrassed him when I asked him about his relationship with Zelda. He seems reliable in a fight, though I wish he would declare his intentions for his lady with less reluctance. |
One of the kindest souls I have met. She is a Goddess, but she reminds me most of my little sister. If she did not have a Hero she cherished, I would pledge my sword to her protection. |
The most unlikely of companions. A pirate that defies description. Luffy and I have disagreed in the past, but he has a pure soul and an unwavering determination to do what is right. I count myself lucky to be a part of his crew. |
A musician with a penchant for getting into trouble. He wants to be a good Hero, though, and his heart is in the right place. He seems to have a few Heroes vying for his affections, and I only hope that whomever he chooses to entrust his heart to will help him stay on the right path. |
An excitable blacksmith. He was by my side during one my darkest memories, trying to ease my suffering. He helped me construct a memorial to the people we have lost, donating his craftsman’s skill out of kindness. I think we have much in common, and I am glad to have him as an ally. |
My first roommate’s former lady-love. I should have reached out to her when he crystalized. She seems to be doing well now, though, and I think she might have found love again. I never quite know what to say to her, but I hope her happiness lasts. |
An intellectual in a peculiar package. I respect his knowledge and his ability to pilot an airship. He is one of the more sensible of Heroes, but he showed great bravery during the Estham invasion and a few other battles. |
My |
The Sheriff of Aqures Ixen. He is a bit rough around the edges, but he upholds the law with great passion. I cannot tell what he thinks of anyone or anything in Crystallis, but he has done more than his share to protect the people here, which is what matters the most. |
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| code by | ||
Focus: Increase physical attack power.
Rush: Attack by ramming into the enemy's body.
Stone: Lob a stone at a far-off foe
Salve: Remove several status ailments. Removes: Blind, Silence, Poison.
Tailwind: Boost an ally's Speed.
Chant: Sacrifice HP to restore twice as much to an ally.
Steel: Encourage an ally, increasing their Bravery.
Shout: Increase Bravery, Speed, and physical and magickal attack power with a hearty battle cry.
As for the ill effects caused by the event, Ramza will start feeling...off...at first, gradually growing weaker. It is the effect felt by his father after sustained Mossfungus Poisoning. In large doses, the poison can incapacitate a person, but in small amounts, it is less noticeable of a drain. So, basically, he will have a poison status effect, but one that is so subtle that he won't notice at first.
Research Notes:
Dated Sept 2nd, (year illegible)…tests failed. I wonder if the magick can be kontained within a single entity. Bartolomei has suggested inkorporating various elements into my design. I think this kould aid in kontrolling the rogue forces surrounding this house. I have written to fellow skholars in Balecia and Aqures, and plan to send them my kase study in hopes that they will be able to lokate rekords of layered magick like this house kontains…
Dated Sept 17th, (year illegible)
…written a kase study for the library in the Kapital. My hope is that when other skholars learn of this dilemma, they might offer me insight into kontrolling the magick.
[Tucked in this entry is what appears to be a few pages of a rough draft.]
The Vivis Mansion has housed a long line of mages. Rekords going back fourteen generations konfirm that each family member, upon mastering their job klass, used their magick to kast a spell of protektion upon the ancestral home. Oral tradition suggests that this practice dates back much further than the first written rekords.
In recent times, this protection has begun to manifest more strongly than it had previously. Even minor acts of violence trigger the protektive spells. This scholar personally witnessed multiple such okkasions. In one instance, a child pushed the scholar’s nephew while playing tag. The child was forcibly thrown back by a strong gale of wind and received a minor konkussion.
It is this scholar’s suspicion that the konstant layering of spellwork over the home has made the magic unstable and potentially dangerous. Attempts to dispel the protektions have failed. This scholar suspects that the difficulty in reversing the spells arises from the varied sources and the entangling of their spells over time…